January 12, 2017

Thoughts I’ve had: Have I lost my love of reading?

In the past, I could read a book a day. I’d get sucked into the fictional world and find myself unable to leave until I’d read the whole thing. I’d then walk around in a daze, my mind still trapped in the story. I’d smile to myself as I thought about the characters. Then, I’d pick up another book and start the whole thing over again.

Even in my first year of writing I still managed to read 105 books. I’m sure in the past I’ve read even more than that in a year, but back then I didn’t know what Goodreads was so I didn’t keep track.

The next year (2013) I didn’t meet my goal. I don’t even remember what my goal was.

In 2014 I only read 53 books.

53? What?! I’m sure when I was in high school I was reading at least 200 books a year. And in 2014 I only read 53? That number breaks my heart. And yes, I was writing my own books, which is a time-consuming process, but I can’t blame my lack of reading on writing because in 2012 I still managed to read 100 books.

In 2015, I read 54 books. Well, at least I managed to add one more from the previous year, but still 54 books isn’t a lot for me.

The number of books I read in 2016…?

36.

I only read 36 books in 2016 and I think 6 of that 36 was my own.

I could argue the point of “I’m busy” or “I don’t have time to read” but it wouldn’t be true. I DO have the time. Time I spend doing other things, I could use to read instead. Lately, I choose not to because I dislike almost every book I pick up. Gone are the days where I’m sucked down the rabbit hole until I finish a book. Gone are the dazed expressions and wandering mind.

When you dislike almost everything you’ve been reading it makes you paranoid that you’re going to hate everything, so then you choose not to read.

Now, I’m not saying the books I’m reading suck, because I’m sure most of them don’t. The problem is 100% ME.

It’s like my mind can’t shut down and allow me to be sucked into the stories in the same way. I over analyze everything and it becomes exhausting instead of an escape.

But I’ve also noticed a lot of other people saying the same thing; that they can’t get into book after book so they’re not reading. So if you’re in the same rut as me, know that you’re not alone.

I don’t know exactly what I can do to get over this and back to my love of reading, but I’m going to try. I’m not going to allow myself to feel dejected time and time again. Because here’s the thing, I MISS reading like crazy. It was my escape, and not having that…it sucks.

My goal this year is to read 100 books. I hope I can do even more than that, even if it’s only 101.

I’ll keep you guys updated on my progress. Maybe do a monthly wrap up if that’s something you’d like to see, and if you’re having a similar struggle maybe we can help each other along the way.

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Welcome!

Micalea SmeltzerHi. I’m Micalea. Ma-call-e-uh. Weird name, I know. My mom must’ve known I was going to be odd even in the womb. I’ve written a lot of books. Like a lot. Don’t ask me how many, I don’t remember at this point.

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